Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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