I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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