i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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