Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
