I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
