i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
