she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
