I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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