if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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