i think i have two assholes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
