went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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