I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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