you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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