There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
