Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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