she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
