My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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