It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
