I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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