4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
