What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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