Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
