So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize