I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
