And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
