i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
this will be a night to untag.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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