I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i think i have two assholes
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
