just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
