So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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