she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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