Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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