How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
