Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
