I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
