Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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