Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
