Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
