I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
