Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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