just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
