I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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