you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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