12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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