Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
