Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
