My nipple is on Facebook.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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