My nipple is on Facebook.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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