Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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