i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
