woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
