Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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