I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?