I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing