I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize