So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
