well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
