Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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