I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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