I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize