I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
