omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize