Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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