Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
