He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
