You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
