That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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