she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
only if we run a train.
done.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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