dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
