O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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